Monday 5.55am
Tired owner 1 (v. grumpy)
The winter solstice has arrived and we cats must be especially vigilant in ensuring our humans deny their biological clocks and get up to feed us - no matter how dark or cold it is at 6 am.

Monday 11am
Of course this doesn’t mean that we, ourselves, get up before the litter box has defrosted. We simply inspect their offerings of breakfast and return to snooze peacefully on the duvet whilst they get up to face a cruel, cruel world.

Tuesday 11am
Christmas tree 1 (v. unexpected)
During the night a tree seems to have grown in our living room. I know I have been a little remiss with my midnight patrolling since the snow fell….. but this is ridiculous!

Tuesday 7pm
Fragile, little, glass balls 17, angel 1, tinsel 5 feet
My owner has been decorating the new tree. Very odd. I watch with concealed interest.

Wednesday 6pm
Fragile little glass balls 15, angel 1, visitors 7
Our house has filled up with humans who seem oblivious to my hard stares of disapproval. Too many clumsy feet so I have retreated to the lower branches of the tree.

Friday 8am
Fragile little glass balls 12, Breakfasts 2
Last night I returned from a nocturnal meeting of the Feline Residents Male Voice Choir to find that the bedroom door was SHUT! After a 15 minute solo rendition of the aria from Nessun Dorma a strangely irate male human opened door (obviously not a music lover). Retreating downstairs I spent the remainder of the night playing with the Christmas decorations. Was rescued from 5 feet of angry tinsel by my human’s mother when she got up to prepare the turkey at 7 o’clock this morning.

Friday 8pm
Sleeping humans 7, Cat toys 3, Left over turkey 7 or 8 lbs (at least)
This has been a strange day. Finally located my human in the spare room. Found 3 cat toys under the new tree. Helped humans to shred lots of paper. Assisted in dressing the turkey. When it comes to bacon rashers “less is more” for turkey (unlike cats).
Oh, and did I mention, I found a very rude reindeer and his sleigh on my roof in the early hours of this morning? Judging by the colour of his nose I would guess he drinks too much - which is probably how the sleigh ended up on the roof in the first place.